To My New Nephew

To James Caesar Menezes, from Aunt Laura.
June 19, 2007

You were born on June 18, 2007 at 8:20pm. You were 19 inches long, 8 lbs 11 ozs. I want to let you know how brave your Mommy was during 15 hours of labor and when the doctor told her she had to have a caesarian section in order to deliver you. I’m sure by now you have heard many stories about how you were born and why you were named as you were, so I won’t go further into it here.

I want to let you know how loving and attentive your Daddy was for your Mommy. He rubbed her back, held her hand, and calmed her with words and his presence. Your Mommy and Daddy love each other very much. And now they are able to share that love with you. And, believe me, they have started already. When you were still inside your Mommy, they talked to you and rubbed the swell of belly that became your home for 9 ½ months. They were so excited to have you in their lives. When you were born your Daddy kept kissing you all over. Letting you know from the first moment he could, that you were loved. You were created from love, brought into this world amidst a family of concern both physically present and there in spirit. Let there be no doubt in your mind that you will be (and are) loved very much.

Today, I imagine you will grow strong and be happy and bring joy to your parents and to the world. You may not know this, but you have a destiny. It’s the same destiny that all humans have, but not all of them know it until much later. Your destiny is to know yourself. Discover the parts of you that have graciously taken after your parents. Explore the parts that come from each side of your family and those that you bring to us as well. We will know you well and sometimes, not at all. Do not despair; it is those moments when you may feel alone, that I will be with you the most (whether I am physically there or not). At those times, you must leave yourself behind and do something you think you cannot do. Don’t be afraid to talk to someone about your doubts and hopes, your fears and ambitions. We love you and always will because you are a part of us and we are a part of you.

Here are some tips for surviving in our family. You have two Grandmas. One Grandma is a little crazy and so is your other Grandma. This is a good thing. The type of craziness they have comes from loving and caring for people a lot. You will know this because they will try to kiss you all the time and will probably buy you lots of neat little presents and tell you how handsome and strong you are. Listen to them. They know what they are talking about. Watch them for all the ways they show love to you.

You have two Grandpas. The Grandpas also love you a lot. They will play with you and teach you things to make you happy and independent in the world. One of the things they will teach you is how to show love in a different way than the Grandmas. There is no wrong way to show love. So watch for every sign that they love you. They may not worry over you as much as the Grandmas, but they will push you because they believe in you. And they want you to learn to believe in yourself. (The Grandmas want this too, but Grandmas have a different way of showing this.)

Your Mommy and Daddy has brothers and sisters. (You don't have any of these yet, but maybe you will someday). These are your Aunts and Uncles who also love you very much. Do you see a theme here? We all love you very much and if we don’t say it enough, you can tell us any time that you love us and we will remember that you need to hear the words “I love you” as well as feel them. Mostly, we will try not to intrude on your Mommy and Daddy’s way of doing things; but we will anyway because that’s our job. We will be the ones to buy you ice cream before dinner. We will show you how to make farting noises and how to blame it on the cats. We will share your secrets. The ones you think your Mommy and Daddy won’t understand. (By the way, they will understand even if you think there is no way they could.) You also have cousins. They may tease you a little, but they love as well. They will teach you things like what makes Mommy and Daddy mad. Try to use those lessons sparingly. They are good when you really need them, but don’t work as well if you use them too much.

Now back to your Mommy and Daddy. As I think I have mentioned, they love you. There is nothing in this world that can ever change that. Let me repeat that. There is nothing you could do or say to your Mommy or Daddy that would make them stop loving you. And there may be times when you may try a lot of things to say or do that you think might change this fact; but it won’t change it at all. They may tell you that they don’t like something you did or said. They may get angry with you and punish you for things that break their rules or to let you know that there are boundaries to your behavior. This is done out of love. They want you to be prepared to be a strong, independent, wonderful person. Here’s a little secret: when Mommy or Daddy yells, it makes them sad afterwards because they realize that it might frighten you. It might be hard for you to understand that they are human just like you. They might make mistakes, but it never means they love you any less. If you are ever scared, tell them. I know it might be hard, but no matter what, they love you and will listen to you.

Today, you have experienced the world outside of your Mommy for the first time. You may have felt cold. You may have felt like the world was far too big for you. But, James Caesar, your Mommy and Daddy will protect you and show you the world a little bit at a time so that it won’t feel too big or cold for you to handle on your own someday.