I am Kitteh! Hear me MEOW!

Here's an update on Mackenzie:
It's been two months since I dropped her off at the farm, a place I thought would be perfect for her. And it's been two months since anyone has seen her anywhere on the farm (although the farmer's father helpfully told me on one visit that they also hadn't found a body). It's been two months of me driving by the road that the farm is on and sometimes crying because I feel guilty at her apparent and immediate demise at the hands of the cold harsh reality of outdoor life. It's been two months and I am still trying to make peace within myself that I may never know for sure what happened to her.

Last night, I was card shopping for my uncle who turned 49 this year (ten years older than me). On the front cover of a card was an adorably cute grey kitten that reminded me of Mackenzie (and, yes, my heart panged a little). Inside the card read: "See, the more grey hair you have the cuter you look!" I had to buy it. Last night was also Samhain, the end of the Wiccan Year. I spent it, as I usually do, meditating at Emily Dickinson's gravesite in Amherst. Without going into too much detail into my reflections of the past year, the salient point is that the issue of Mackenzie came up. I reconciled the notion that she had probably succumbed to something in the wild but I also tried to believe that she is happy somewhere living off the land and just not wanting to be seen by all those scary people that aren't "Mom".

Jump forward eighteen hours to Saturday (today). I am with a friend checking out all the new stores in Thornes Marketplace when my cell phone rings. "It's R***." (No, not my boss. No, not my ex-husband. The farmer who just happened to have the same name!) He had spotted Mackenzie and it seems she is living around the hay barn. I was ecstatic! I drove to the farm later in the day and called to her. I think she spent the entire time I was there meowing. She was still very skittish, but she came to me. I checked her out, made sure eyes, ears, nose, paws and the rest were all okay. And, except for her thinness, she was looking great. The farmer gave me some cat food for her, which she ate right out of my hand. I got her to come out of her hiding space and sit in the open so that the farmer's niece could take a look at her. (Of course, the minute the girl turned her head to look, Little Big Mack took off to hide again.) I feel so much better knowing that she has made a home for herself at the farm. And, now that the farmer knows she's around he'll resume putting food and water out near where she is hanging out and hopefully she'll flesh out a little bit for winter. I expect I will be visiting from time to time since it was very clear that Mack wanted and needed some loving from her Mom.

What a wonderful way to start my new year! I can't express (without sounding like a Hallmark card that is) how relieved I am that she is alive and well. It validates my decision to bring her there. (I really did do a good thing for her and not sentence her to a horribly painful death.) It is times like these, when my heart is filled with hope and contentment and all is right in my world, that I am exceedingly grateful that I do not have children.