Ugly Cat Speaks

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

A Handful of Forgotten Poems

Well, not completely forgotten; but two of them were birthday poems that I neglected to include in my birthday poem post.


time for order
for lines and rules
set forth neatly
guiding me
keeping me safe
even when I
choose to
disregard them

ltv
12/10/09



butterflies in space
can’t float like they do on Earth
their rules have vanished

ltv
12/10/09



if suffering ceased
would I as well?
is being Human
going through Hell
this Being of Light
feels trapped inside
afraid to come out
nowhere to hide
everything tingling
emotions and nerves
no chance for direction
with so many curves
I reach out my hand
through a slot in the door
a glimpse of the freedom
I don’t have anymore
the flesh can’t escape
through such a small hole
my only hope is
to liberate my soul

ltv
12/18/09


Tiger Shark


so fierce in vitro
unlike us who require
time to develop

ltv
12/30/09

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Small Crop of Birthday Poems

This year wasn't as fruitful as other years in terms of poetry on (or around) my birthday. Perhaps because I turned 40 (although, logically, one might think that would create MORE opportunities to pour one's soul into poetry) or maybe because I wrote 33 poems in November and am simply tapped out. Of course, I can't stop writing completely (any more than I can stop breathing for very long). So, here are a couple of poems that I couldn't help writing while at the monthly FloPoSo meeting


...wait a minute

there was no dripping of
icicles from the eaves
the first snow still lay
fresh on the ground
as night fell and the
temperatures rose
New England countered
this winter event with
lightning and a low
rumbling thunder
no fireflies during this storm
just the flashing lights
of the eager plows

ltv




…ask your doctor

that Love is a drug
is not in dispute
that feeling is strong
the addiction acute

but is it a medicine
to cure all one’s ills
or is it illicit
like opiate pills

something to crave
to steal and to lie for
can we live without it
or is it something to die for

ltv

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Dream Interpretations

Hello All you Denizens of the Interwebs!

Since my poetry outburst appears to be all dried up, I have actually finished writing chapter 14 of my novel. Of course, that just means I have to figure out what to write in chapter 15! Ah, the fun never ends. This weekend was a busy one for my sleeping brain. I don't know about you, but I seem to frequently dream in full-length, full-color movies/tv shows. (In fact, it was one such dream that got me started on writing this novel.) I usually can figure out what the dreams mean (dream interpretation is a bit of a hobby for me), but these last two have me stumped (actually there was one other from a few weeks ago that also has me stumped, but due to the individuals involved in it, I am not at liberty to share it on the web.) (How's that for intriguing?) So, back to this weekend. Here is what I remembered from my two dreams. I am looking for what other people think it means (and don't say that I watch too much TV -- I already know that!)

Dream Number 1 -- Looking for Stephen
Friday, December 4, 2009 – December 5, 2009

I was looking for Stephen (in my dream I understood it to be Stephen [redacted] although there is a perennial personals ad in the Advocate with the heading “Looking for Stephen”). I believe he was in trouble – either mentally or involving drugs. I made it to a sort of rave and found a woman who might have information. She was wearing a tight, satiny blue dress that gathered in bunches around the waist, but was smooth at her behind. I gave her a drug that she wanted and was leading me to another building that was connected to the rave. It was as if the rave was an underground room that people from this other building sneaked into.

We were heading up a large open staircase that overlooked the party below, when we passed someone who tried to stop us. I hugged the woman in the dress close to me and caressed her behind as if to indicate that we were simply looking for some place private and the other person gave us a knowing look and continued down the stairs.

When we arrived at the other building, it was bathed in light, even though the rave would indicate that it was nighttime. Large fluorescent lights hung from the ceiling and there were books everywhere. At various places in the large, open, main room there were what appeared to be check-in desks – security desks – staffed with women and men in white and off-white uniforms. We were in some sort of medical facility – a locked-down building – in which people were recovering from addictions or other ailments. Some of the people didn’t seem like they were sick at all, they may have been political prisoners held as “mental patients”. The woman I was with claimed she knew where Stephen was.

As we were walking through the room, we passed several bookcases – metal, built into the floor and filled with books. On one of the shelves was a book with red on the cover, the title was “Necropolis” [side note: I've done a search and it wasn't any of these titles.] We saw a uniformed woman approaching us, so we quickly sat down on one of the various couches. The one we were one had metal arms and legs and a burnt-orange rectangular cushion that sat about four people. There was another couch across from us and a smaller one at the left of us that completed a U-formation sitting area amongst the bookshelves. The uniformed woman approached us and asked us what we were doing. I explained that I was telling the woman I was with about a great book I read called “Necropolis” in which the citizens are kept safe inside a protected city and fed popcorn as they focused on becoming productive members of the society. (That was not exactly the plot of the book. I was “spinning the plot” to conform to what I perceived was the prevailing attitude in this facility.) The uniformed woman seemed pleased with my answer and left us alone.

It was then that I awoke.


Dream Number 2 -- My Episode of House (guest starring Marion Ross)
December 5, 2009 to December 6, 2009.

It seemed like an episode from the TV show House. I was one of House’s team members. At some point in the dream I had to go to an outside doctor’s office. I found House there and discovered he had a heart condition. He didn’t see me there.

At another point in the dream, I had to get into a building through a door that was blocked with some sort of vise-grip contraption on a base of concrete. I found a penny, unscrewed a screw that connected the grip handle to the vise, and removed the parts of the vise enough to unblock the entrance and go inside. I do not recall what was inside. But later in the dream, others were trying to get inside as well and I was bragging that I was clever enough to find a way (since it was now locked again). I tried to take apart the concrete base and someone else suggested I simply unscrew the handle from the grip and take apart the vise rigging. I was embarrassed that I had forgotten that’s what I had done before.

At another point in the dream we were at a counter of some kind, almost retail. I was on one side and House was on the other. It may have been a pharmacy counter. I started playing mind games with him indicating that I knew something was wrong with him. He appeared to see that I wasn’t bluffing, but he played it off like I was an idiot -- that didn’t know what I was talking about.

At another point in the dream, I was in my home (it wasn’t the condo I now own, but it was a condo.) It had a foyer which connected several units and there were mailboxes on a wall and buzzers for each unit. Someone buzzed my unit, and I realized that my door was open a bit. I slammed my door shut and didn’t answer the buzzer. The call was patched through to my phone and went to voicemail. It was a woman’s voice, authoritative – like from a government agency investigating something. I ignored it. After a while, I left my condo and went around the block. Connected to the condos was a shopping center. There was a brick pathway through the covered center and several boutique-like shops. At the main entrance was a book shop and two other shops. As you entered the covered shopping area, you could descend into a large underground gathering area. The shopping center was actually built from an old fire station [side note: It's something like this]. The gathering area seemed like the place where the fire trucks were parked, but there was a ramp that descended into the area, as if the building had been sunk into the ground. (Imagine the fire truck bays. The garage doors are at ground level, but they entrance slopes downward until the main bay is completely underground.) The underground portion had the base of the fire pole, but it was blocked by the floor that was built above it. The pole ascended into concrete. Turning around on the slope that led to the blocked fire pole, led me back to the underground portion of the centre. There was a small bar with stone walls and neon above the bar itself. Underneath the actual bar was stone with pictures painted on it like cave drawings, but they were pictures from the storybook “Where the Wild Things Are”. That was the name of the bar: “Where the Wild Things Are”. In the large open concrete gathering place, there was a crowd of people listening to music and taking drugs. It seemed to be a “hippie love fest” that is typically associated with the “Summer of Love” in the sixties. House was there. A woman stood up from the sitting crowd and began speaking. It was Marion Ross (Mrs. Cunningham, from “Happy Days”). She was the age she is today and was referring to House as going through an important transition. It was then that I realized that House had OD’d on LSD and possibly something else. I tried to reach him, but the music was swelling and the crowd all stood up singing and dancing in celebration of the “transformation” that was taking place. I caught House’s eye and he winked at me then fell to the ground. By the time I reached him, his heart wasn’t beating and he had stopped breathing. I started CPR but Marion Ross told me to stop. She said he wanted this. I pushed her back and told her that he didn’t, that he wanted me to save him. An ambulance was called and Wilson arrived with it. By the time we loaded House into it, I had restarted his heart and got him breathing again. He was still unconscious though.

Back at the hospital, the test results from what had happened were back and Wilson explained that the LSD and whatever else he took “rebooted” his heart fixing the damage that had earlier been found. House woke up and feebly told Wilson that he knew his plan would work. Wilson chastised him by saying that there must have been a better treatment plan than death. House responded that he knew I would understand and that there was very little risk, other than the death thing.

It was then that I awoke from the dream.

So, any insight would be appreciated. If anyone knows of a book called Necropolis with red on the cover and has a plot similar to the one I mentioned, let me know. Perhaps that should be the title of the next book I write? Also, I really should be watching less TV. peace, ltv

Saturday, December 05, 2009

"Don't get it right, just get it written"*

I recently watched Gran Torino and was moved to write /blog/rant about the following.


What is right? Is it something you feel? Like pleasure or satisfaction. Is it something that is hard, something that must be sacrificed? Or is it easy, innate, naturally occurring within some minds, some souls? We talk about doing the right thing. The right way. Being right. And having the right stuff. In America we have an entire political party that is referred to as “the Right”, but are they? We make quips about those who aren’t right are those who are left. And that is true, if you consider how we presently misuse the term. Right is simply a direction, and is different, depending on your point of view. Sometimes, all it takes to decide what isn’t right, is to look in the mirror. And sometimes, what’s left – in that same mirror – can also seem right.

ltv


*"Don't get it right, just get it written" - James Thurber