33 Poems in 30 Days

It's official! (Unless I write some more tonight.) I managed to write more than 30 poems in 30 days. Now, let's see if I can continue this streak into December or whether it stops at my birthday. (A normally prolific time for me.)


Thanksgiving Crapulence

the excess came
from sharing too much
not stopping at
one sweet morsel
but dipping into
the succulent parts
savory and extravagant
and we both consumed
even knowing we couldn’t
digest it all in one night

ltv
11/27/09



[untitled i]

if I look into
the glass and see
a monster -- am I
to blame for not
keeping the window
clean enough to see
whether the image
is a distortion
of reality or
a reflection

ltv
11/30/09



[untitled ii]

I wear ogre glasses
an angel gave to me
I sat through many classes
on how I’m meant to be
the angel showed me beauty
and how it can’t be trusted
she also taught me duty
which never can be busted
as I grew the glasses fused
onto my trusting face
until lessons were well-used
though locked within this place
deep inside without a key
I’m safe but far apart
wondering who will rescue me
the blind princess with no heart

ltv
11/30/09



[untitled iii]

emotion is a two-edged sword
both cleansing and corrupt
which leaves me feeling empty
and often times filled up
it can be wielded skillfully
not solely in defense
I’ll find my life less painful
when I finally learn to fence

ltv
11/30/09

Happy Thanksgiving!

Turkey Day, Tofurky Day, Turducken Day, or Sit On The Couch, Watch the Macy's Parade and Avoid the Relatives Day -- whatever you call it, however you celebrate the day off from work -- ENJOY!

And, of course, the daily poems from November (which, regrettably, are not so much "daily" as much as they are "whenever I get to it").


[untitled]

no poems on the weekends
as if they were a chore
an errand to complete
a dull and arduous bore
yet the time that I write
is before my morning drive
a few lines with my coffee
helps me feel alive
so it can’t be a burden
(though rhyming can get tough)
it’s a little stress relief
(though probably not enough)

ltv
11/23/09



[untitled]

what stops in my brain
the novelty – the challenge
to let the mundane worries
of forty hours conquer
the rest of my time
to keep me from crafting
drafting poems in some form
is it chemical -- like depression
emotional – like stress
or physical – like pain
or does it go back
to Schrodinger’s cat
the answer is unknown
until I look inside

ltv
11/25/09



Onion Slaw

the shredding is the easy part
sometimes someone’s
already done that for you
the trick is
keeping it from getting soggy
soaking in the acrid juices
and ruining what is
essentially healthy
when properly prepared

ltv
11/26/09

More of a Rant than a Poem

selective understanding

what chemical in our brains
causes emotion to shut down reason
is emotion simply too powerful
to subdue in our fragile human state
or is it ignorance
that causes logic to falter
when confronted with an idea
our brains focus on what we know
cling to it – violently –
there – what causes some minds
to snap shut in that instance
and others to open wide
to let in more information

ltv
11/20/09

24 (oops, I mean 25) and Counting....

In my unofficial stab at the 30 poems in 30 days, I am making beautiful progress. If I could only get focused on finishing chapter 14 of my novel, I would be as happy as can be!


Semantics

is peace the absence of war
or is war the absence of peace

perhaps they are, in fact, two completely
separate and unrelated things

war is political -- greedy, bloody politics
infringing on each soldier’s, each civilian’s
inner sense of calm – the peace –
the freedom – of living as one chooses

ltv
11/17/09



[untitled]

peace is warranted
as war tears a country
its soldiers, its people
into pieces

ltv
11/17/09




Unique Opportunity

dreams can be torture
a Sisyphean nightmare
of futile desires
reminding me of
the things I’ll never have
and the choices I made
that left me here
alone looking at McMansions
with no capital and
nothing to fill them

ltv
11/19/09

I don't like the poem above, it seems far too depressing (and for me that's saying something!) So I tried to write a response poem, but ended up beating myself up while trying to point out the fallacy of the sentiment above. Oh well, I promised the denizens of the Interwebs (like THAT would hold up in court!) that I would post EVERY poem I wrote in November, so here is my response:


Response to Unique Opportunity

if homes were made
from the impressions
we leave on others
yours would contain
so many beautiful rooms
that you never would see
since you insist on
living in the basement

ltv
11/19/09

Three with Titles!

Observation

it’s scary
or just a little
superstitious maybe
that with all the poetry
flowing each day
I should stop
on Friday the 13th
or rather just short of it
as if to say my words
refused to acknowledge
connection for fear of
being mangled badly
or worse – misarranged
into a throw-away poem
destined to be locked
in a folder for years
Schrodinger’s poem
does it exist if
no one ever reads it

ltv
11/14/09



ashes to ashes

that morning
after prayers
and the special service
she left the church
still bearing the sooty mark
of faith on her face
that last smudge she felt
she couldn’t remove
it being the only reminder
that, at least once, she believed

ltv
11/16/09



not so far away

in the morning
with her coffee
and the kids still sleeping
she dreams of places
far away and free
she hopes for a time
perhaps when her sisters
are old enough to take over
the family duties
she can fly away
from these buildings falling down
this neighborhood of terror
muted pops of gunfire fill the air
like the birds she imagines must exist
somewhere in this country
this land of the free

ltv
11/16/09

A Quantum Leap

One of the concepts I am thinking about now in relation to quantum physics is how it is related to human consciousness and spirituality. There are some theories out there, but one, rather poetic, theory I concocted was the notion that the Universe is structurally equivalent to the atom, which is a homonym with Adam, which, of course, is the first Human "God" created (if you believe that particular myth) in His image. My theory is that the Universe is what many different religions refer to as "God" and is only "alive" in the sense that the cells of the human body are alive. In fact, humans, and all living creatures, are integral parts of the Universe in much the same way as the cells of the body are integral to us. But the interesting thing to think about is this: are we and all that we know of (the earth, all its flora and fauna, and, of course humans) part of the universal brain or merely part of a “lesser” (though not unimportant) system such as the digestive system or skin? And, if we are not part of the brain (though, I secretly hope we are), does that mean there are more “evolved” life-forms out there that are? And, if there are more ”evolved” life-forms, could that mean they are evolved in a way that does not appear as evolved to us lowly humans? Perhaps some virus is part of the Universe’s brain, a more “evolved” life-form designed to eradicate that which is harming the whole. But, like most internal processes, or with outside interference, it is not as precise as the Universal whole would want it to be.

That’s my answer, by the way, for why good people die and bad people live. Life isn’t perfect. Nature, the Universe, the human body, while remarkable in their own ways, do not have complete control over the system they are in, nor the systems they contain. Could it be true that staying in balance is the overriding law of Nature and the Universe? And when things get out of balance, the system tries, with all it has available to it, to regain that balance. The mythological battle of good and evil then becomes nothing more than a Universe suffering from OCD. Cleanliness really is next to godliness!

Healing Spell for MAS

I summon the Universe
channel healing energy
redirect it towards my friend
then release my desires

I summon the Universe
reach far into its ends
make plans and then rehearse
the task we have at hand

channel healing energy
let the power flow and pool
one human in perfect synergy
always mindful of the rules

redirect it towards my friend
with body marred by cancer
bring the illness to an end
we have no other answers

then release my desires
my will is not my own
go to work my new hires
let her feel it in her bones

I summon the Universe
channel healing energy
redirect it towards my friend
then release my desires

ltv
11/12/09

missing you

sometimes I listen
over tea in the afternoon
at my kitchen table
to the advice you
would have given me
but I was so young
back then when you left
I couldn’t see the pain
of a broken marriage
or your courage when faced
with a failing plane
over enemy territory
all I saw was the disease
that shook your body
and mind away from us
rattling the foundation of our family

I miss the memories we never made
the fights when I asserted
my independence as an adult
the talks we could have shared
about my own failed marriage
over tea like we used to
when I complained about
my homework and unfair teachers

ltv
11/11/09

I'm up to two a day...this is becoming a habit!

the physics of failure

how far we’ve come
becomes that much
more impressive as
we drag the weight
of our missteps and failures
grudgingly behind us

how far could we go
if we push them out in front
buffering the onslaught
of new mistakes with
the understanding that
more mass yields greater velocity

ltv
11/9/09



oh, if I could only be
as happy as my cats are free
with wild abandon
they chase their play
and with equal power
they sleep all day
their stomachs tell them
when to eat
and they take pride
in keeping neat
if they don’t like you
it’s no surprise
as is the love seen
in their eyes
oh, if I had a strength like that
I’d live carefree
just like my cat

ltv
11/9/09




that moment of doubt
when letting go of the pain
can last a lifetime

ltv
11/10/09



phantom limb
(dedicated to V.S. Ramachandran)

in the absence of
new memories
the brain remains
fixed on the last
experience
the violent separation
which left only
pain and raw nerves
a seemingly permanent
affliction – the cure
is deceptively simple
trick the brain
into rewiring itself
flex that missing part
and let go of the pain

ltv
11/10/09

Daily Poetry -- This isn't pretty

I am compelled to share with the denizens of web, those of you surfing at 1 am because you just can't help yourself, every poem I am creating during these 30 days of November. If you are following these posts (and god help you if you are), you will know I am not officially participating in the 30 poems in 30 days challenge thrown down by Leslea Newman . But that is only because I have an irrational fear of commitment and NOT because I have Ergophobia or Mertophobia . (Although I will admit to not completely mastering my Arachnophobia.)

So, don't be afraid to read the less than stellar daily poems below.



these happy moments
oases in a desert
that doesn’t exist

ltv
11/4/09



for a moment
I belonged
I was known
and understood
appreciated
and made fun of
for the quirks
that make me special
and more importantly
I enjoyed it.

ltv
11/4/09



Connoisseur of Chaos

I’m a connoisseur of chaos
selecting just the perfect strife
one that is uncomplicated
for a troubled intricate life

the flavor of the turmoil
can be enhanced by other things
like a young arthritic hand
having difficulty with rings

it’s all in how you wear it
with a flourish and some pride
instead of trapped and rotting
like a prisoner inside

so choose your trouble wisely
whether money, love or fame
for underneath the swirling mess
each human soul’s the same

ltv
11/5/09



again we start
to face the insecurities
or new beginnings
of another day
what at first glance
appears to be the last
leg of a mundane journey
towards the forty-eight
hour reprieve is
really that same old
cliché of the first day
of the rest of your life
why we continue to let
our minds drag the
baggage of the past
into this exciting
opportunity of discovery
isn’t really a mystery at all
who doesn’t feel safer
travelling with a friend?

ltv
11/6/09



Gallery Show

we paint with hidden colors
for everyone to see
the image we imagine
the Selves we try to be
but palettes are unique
regardless of what we choose
one individual’s rainbow
can be nothing more than blues
a study in monotony
or the simply subtlety of change
once the composition leaves us
we no longer can arrange
aesthetically we try to guess
our paramour’s delight
but succeed in merely showing
our best work on opening night

ltv
11/8/09



[untitled]

who do we pretend to be
when we pretend to be ourselves
that glossy, brilliant image
of the best we think we are

is it merely a façade
a pretty shell – like Fabergé
or is it something more in depth
that we can access any time
only using it when needed
like a hunter in a blind

ltv
11/8/09

Happy Election Day!

In my subversive attempt to join something without actually joining it, I wrote another poem today. (Not that I am committing to writing 30 poems in 30 days, I just happened to have written two days in a row.)

I voted to stay in bed

I tried my best to weigh
the issues of earning an income
or snuggling under the heavy quilt
without guilt of faking illness
still, the candidates made promises
of continued paid employment or
enjoyment of the purring lump of fur beside me
I did my civic duty, as I should
chose according to my heart
and mind the kind of future I thought I wanted
but, sadly, the alarm clock won

ltv

A Flurry of Activity Today

I'm not sure whether it was Leslea Newman's November poetry challenge 30 Poems in 30 Days that got me started or my migraine yesterday or the weird dream involving me dying and seeing a bunch of dead people I know in a waiting room with a long line. (Yes, I know I'm weird; but if you knew me, you would already know that.) Well, what can I say, 'tis the season for that sort of morbid stuff. Whatever the reason, I wrote five poems before work this morning. Don't get too impressed, three of them are haikus (and I don't really think the five are all that great). Self-deprecating intros aside, here are the poems in the order I wrote them.

Migraine Haiku

first the hint of pain
then nauseating migraine
lingers ‘til evening

ltv


an unwelcomed guest
bringing offerings of pain
won’t leave when I ask

ltv


[untitled Haiku]

reaching into death
the living must be certain
about coming back

ltv


travel plans

In my dreams
I reach towards death
to visit those I failed
to say goodbye to
or those I stubbornly
refuse to accept as gone
but these long adventures
of my subconscious
risks the same as any other
selfish vacation -
collections of images
reminders of something
I can never have
or worse –
the opportunity
to give in completely
and return to that place forever

ltv


the very best

every morning is Halloween
I raise the dead in my bedroom
then give thanks to the bounty
of soothing hot water in my shower
my eyes are opened to the gifts
of the day, even if they are left
under foot on the living room carpet
I clean them and start anew
with the aromatic coffee I love
be mine caffeine every day
how lucky I am to find
this pot of gold already brewed
or am I being fooled
into mothering myself with
memories of what I observed
in my youth – is this a red flag
of my daddy issues
rejecting tea for coffee
asserting my independence
with a beverage
I labor through these thoughts
the rest of my day
exhausted by the hallmarks
of my existence

ltv